This is My Adventure. What’s Yours?
A year ago, I left my career and the organization that was my home for the past decade to start a new business, months before giving birth.
I have had many adventures in my life so far, big and small, long and short. The beginnings of this one stretch back a few years, when I found myself restless in my job and the career I had passionately built. I would ask others more and more what alternative careers they would pursue if they could, and joked about my own – chocolatier, mountain guide, kid’s day camp director, social entrepreneur, women’s health campaigner, ninja. I remember being frustrated with those who didn’t want to dream with me, who were fully engaged right where they were. Why was I so restless?
I wrestled with applying to other jobs, other organizations, other locations, but I didn’t feel the pull. I can remember waking up at 2am some mornings, my brain working through frustrations and churning over problems I was no longer motivated to solve. There was a feeling of being trapped. I had worked so hard to get here, to build this, I had so passionately known I wanted to be here. And yet, it no longer felt like this was where I needed to be in this moment.
I can remember taking the first coach training course and feeling like a dormant part of me came alive. There was an incredible spark, and also a sadness that this wasn’t how I felt about my own role, only bits of it. For the next several months of training, I felt that spark flash over and over again. It was like watching a lighter spark, without turning into a flame. When I started working with a full-time coach again, I spent 80% of my time working through fear of change. I had so many reasons why it didn’t make sense to leave – I care deeply about the work we do, the people I work with are my community, how else can I really make a difference, I would be betraying the people who trusted me to do this work, I’m pregnant and women before me fought so I could have this maternity leave, it would be irresponsible and rash to leave now, this feeling will pass. It didn’t.
I remember the moment I first decided to give my notice, there was a sense of huge relief and still fear. When I was calm and really honest with myself, the relief far outweighed the fear. It was like standing on the cliff edge, knowing I had already chosen to jump off and parachute down. It wasn’t so scary anymore. Don’t get me wrong, there were still moments of “what have I done”, but they became less and less. When I finished coach training, one of the facilitators who had seen me only at the beginning and now at the end told me I was visibly changed, lighter. I can’t remember his exact words, but he confirmed on the outside what I felt on the inside – the energy that comes when a spark becomes a flame burning inside. I was lit up, inside and out. I still am. I am not a morning person, let’s be honest. Yet I find myself jumping out of bed at 5am on mornings like this, bursting with ideas for what I want to create in the world, and who I want to create with.
The other day a friend asked me the same question I used to put to others – what alternative career would you choose. Honestly, nothing came to mind. I said I’m living it.
This is my adventure, what’s yours?
